What To Do If I Have an Unwanted Admirer? [Episode 51]

Photos of podcast host and guest on episode about what to do about an unwanted admirer


In this podcast episode, Mandi welcomes back Joe, her mentor and self-defense teacher, to address a scenario where a family friend faces an unwanted admirer who waits for her outside the gym and persistently intimidates her despite her rejections. 


Joe begins by emphasizing the importance of breaking predictable patterns and using group exits or tactical pauses to assess surroundings before leaving. 


He suggests carrying a defensive tool and employing code words with friends for assistance. Joe stresses the significance of situational awareness and analyzing the stalker’s behavior, urging caution and vigilance beyond the gym environment.


Joe advises against confrontations. He emphasizes the need to prioritize personal safety and suggests documenting incidents, considering police involvement if the behavior persists or escalates. 

Throughout the discussion, the focus remains on empowering individuals to assert their boundaries and take proactive measures to safeguard themselves against potential threats.


Lessons Learned

Pay attention to patterns and mix things up!

Take a pause before you go into the possible danger to assess the situation.

In assessing the level of a threat pay attention to the person’s appearance, frequency and distance. 

Make sure that they aren’t following you home and that you’re not endangering loved ones. 

Ask for help from the person in charge of the location and / or ask for a male to be with you when you can possibly encounter the unwanted admirer.

Don’t engage and get tricked into interacting with them. Quickly say no thanks as you’re getting into your car or I’m busy.  

Document every occurrence and report that compilation to the police while telling them, “I’m afraid for my safety.” Keep reporting until you get help.




To inquire about Joe’s self defense help, contact Mandi.



Book Mandi for your school, conference or workshop to share her real life story and how she healed.



Find out the top 10 things Mandi does to keep herself safe at the bottom of her website WomenAwareAndPrepared.com.



You can find Mandi, on Instagram @WomenAwareAndPrepared 



Music by Andrea Hamilton Binley at HopefulPop.com.

The primary purpose of the Women Aware and Prepared Podcast is to educate and inform. This podcast series does not constitute advice or services. Please use common sense for your own situation.

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